I don’t even get the backdoor open all the way, before I hear: “Hey there, did you get anything out of all that?”

“That’s a strong start,” I say while taking a step to the back porch. No way am I ready to start that quickly. At least, I was able to get me a drink. It might’ve been too hot even for me today; temperatures rose beyond where my oldest can count. 

“Oh, come on,” comes the reply. “You’ve been down in that windowless basement, mining the internet, and reading comments for hours. Surely, you have something to share. So, I’m all ears – spill it. Plus, you’ve left Me out here all this time, so this had better be good.” 

Nope, I am not at all prepared for this.

Imagine a desk littered with books, papers, and notepads – that’s what my mind would look like. Only three more steps would get me to my chair, but a box turtle could out-pace me tonight. I’m trying to make some time to process all that litter. 

I plop into my seat before gazing into the trees. I begin: “All right, You know how I’ve been writing all year on the mystery that I make this journey with You through the reality that I can only make it because of You?”

“Yeah, seems like I remember some conversation about that.” [See Reflection 1 @ Ordinary Time 2023]

I continue: “Well, I think the next logical question is ‘how do I go with You?’ In other words, what is Your gift that enables this journey with You because of You? And, I might just have found an answer.” 

Before I can express any doubt or qualification of that answer, I hear: “Oh really?”

“Maybe, prayer is that answer,” I say with the resignation of being in this moment.

“Sounds promising” is the response with the question: “What is that?” 

“Oh, I have no idea.” 

With a sigh that would make my 10th grade chemistry teacher proud, my Buddy says, “That sounds about right.” Then, I imagine my Friend sagging against the loveseat with a hand flicking from me to Him. “All right, well – what have you got?” 

I have the distinct sense of my Friend surrendering to a long, wandering trip, so I say, “I began with the reference materials, the encyclopedias, and the catechisms. I only found very technical definitions: Prayer identifies the requests that we make to You.” 

“Doesn’t sound like you’re a big fan of that definition.” 

I snicker a little – there’s no escaping the eye of my Friend. I respond: “You’re right, of course. At first, I was disappointed by such a flat, narrow-looking definition. It just feels like it’s missing something.” 

“But…?” comes the leading question. 

I think my Friend is trying to move things along, but I’m trying to process in this moment. “Then,” I carry on, “I pulled out some of my favorites. Aquinas and Luther, Lewis and Chesterton, Shakespeare and Dickens – all of these legends use “prayer” for discussions about making petitions. So, there’s certainly a necessary component of prayer that is our requests, but is that it? Is petition necessary and sufficient for prayer?” 

“Plus, isn’t My prayer mostly made of petitions?”

“Yeah, most of those legends describe the ‘Our Father’ that way.” I pause for a moment. I’m searching for something that keeps me dissatisfied. I say, “While we’re in Matthew 6, I’d mention the first eight verses because they’re all about being in Your presence as well as requiring some intention about what we say.” [See Matthew 6]

“So, there’s some lead-up before the petitions?” 

“Right? At least, there appears to be some other components to the overall mystery of prayer. I mean: After all, I am wandering through a mystery, and language must [because of its nature] ignore some of that mystery in order to focus on the reality. Or, in this case, most of the mystery.” 

“If language is the problem and all you’ve got is language, how can you imagine finding more than what language gives you?” 

I take a big inhale; that challenge is a big one. Language, though, is fun to me. I keep playing with it, so what keeps me down this rabbit-hole?

I begin, “Language is our tool, and I’ve got a lot more than simply language: I’ve got Your grace.” 

“What’s more,” I continue, “English is great for giving amazing invitations with its narrow, technical definitions. One might imagine such a combination of invitation and technicality a result from the conflict between French and German at the start of modern English. But, that’s a topic for another day.

“Anyway, English – at present – is my common, everyday language for looking at Your world, so I guess my real question should be: Where’s my invitation into the mystery of prayer from the reality of prayer as petition?”

“Perhaps,” I wonder, “maybe those introductory verses in Matthew 6 show me where my invitation is? Based on that instruction, my petitions are not simply made into the ether; rather, they are made in Your presence as part of my ongoing journey with You through the every-day, ordinary stuff of my petitions. So, that might be the invitation to mystery within the reality of prayer as petition.”

My Friend laughs and says, “Joe, once again, I think you’ve out thought yourself. If that’s all you needed for an invitation, I think you could’ve looked no further than My address in My prayer.”

I nod with the surrender of accepting that point. “Yeah, You’re right there” says I. “However, You know that I’m pretty good at making things harder on myself than necessary.” 

We sit for a moment with the crickets in the background. I stare into the woods, and I suppose I’m just being watched. Then, my Lord breaks the silence: “So, what now? Is that the end?”

I give my Companion a smirk with a sideways glance. “I’ll wager that even You’re doubtful of that question,” I say. “There’s an invitation to a mystery here, and You know I enjoy those, so I suspect this is a starting line.”

“Where will you end up?”

I say with some concern but no hesitation: “Wherever You lead.”

“That’s My boy. Well, see you next time?”

“At this point, I don’t see that I’ve got another choice.”

A chuckle fades into the night as the crickets renew their chirps. I sit with my own thoughts about what might possibly lie ahead, but I’m left with: May God’s peace be with me.